Yet another Jeep spare parts and repair price disaster
Remember a year ago, when the boss of Jeep Australia boldly told us he was revising parts prices, in the spirit (I’m paraphrasing) of being less extortionate? I don’t think it has worked out very well…
Time flies, doesn’t it? It’s virtually the first birthday of the announcement by Jeep Australia boss Kevin Flynn - the Flynnster - that Stellantis Australia, nee FCA Australia, was ‘sorting out’ its parts pricing.
This was after they were exposed by the national news media when a young family was presented with a $50,000 bill to repair their busted, unreliable Grand Cherokee. Oh dear.
Following that, in a hard-hitting exclusive puff piece by John Mellor on 12 March, 2020, in a publication almost nobody reads called GoAutoNews Premium, Mr Flynn said:
Flynn makes it sound like they’re aiming to land on the Moon. At least, that’s how it sounds. “Tranquility Base, key points confirmed. You are go for pricing extortion reduction. God speed.”
He had even more to say, describing with all the available jargon just how hard they were working to reduce the degree to which they treat their customers with aggressive indifference.
Thank goodness they managed to set that parameter in time. Imagine how many people have now been saved from having their bank accounts drained by insanely unjustifiable parts which shouldn’t break no relatively young Jeeps.
Hilariously, despite Jeep’s tireless alleged efforts to be less extortionate toward their dwindling customer base, an AutoExpert informant who regularly works on the fleet of ordinary vehicles out there on the roads, sent me an email.
His name is ‘Wrench-wielding Jeff’ and he handed me the sobering Red Pill, which brought the Jeep parts promise premise crashing down.
Jeff had a 2013 Grand Cherokee rushed into his surgery (workshop), rushed straight through triage, leaking fuel. It’s only got 116,000 kays on the clock, but the grieving owner wasn’t sure if their beloved would make it.
Jeef performed an emergency fuel tank removal on the floor of the trauma centre.
AutoExpert informant Jeff found himself with a critically leaking Jeep fuel tank on his workshop floor.
WWJ is very good, he finds the leak in the the fuel tank, where a cheap plastic fuel line rubs on the body over time and becomes a ticking time bomb, before one day, without warning, failing.
But wouldn’t you know it, that Stellantis Australia ‘operation’ doesn’t even sell the hose as a replacement part.
Jeep promised better spare parts inventory, but doesn’t carry a fuel hose for its most popular historic model.
You have to buy the whole fuel tank as a replacement part, and it’s ‘only’ $4050.
So, this turns into a $5400-ish repair bill, overwhelmingly because those Jeep leopards just can’t change their spots. And this is after the alleged ‘parameter reset’ and getting the dealers ‘up to speed’.
I don’t know about you, but I find that emphatically disgraceful. A naked rip-off, not to mention a gross waste of resources. I’ve seen the official repair quote - it’s hilarious/shocking, depending on whether or not you’re the owner.
Anyway, Jeff located a transplant from a donor vehicle at a wrecker nearby. A used tank from a Grand Cherokee that had already gone to heaven.
There’s plenty of those around, unsurprisingly - proving once again that everything in life - even the living hell of shitbox Jeep ownership - is a ‘good news/bad news’ story.
Used tank: $400. Still more expensive than a new plastic hose would be, had those fuckers just designed the tank to be serviceable. But think you’d agree, $400 is somewhat less of a heart-stopper than $4000.
To Big Kev, sitting on the golden water closet in the Stellantis Australia boardroom, stroking the other executives over another job well done, I would humbly say: Dude, you’ve had a Main Parameter Reset Under-volt. You seem to be venting credibility into space. Again.
How are those sales going, by the way? That turnaround? Still on track?
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Audience feedback: just for laughs…
I’m very sorry to hear that, Norman. Two out of three living hells. Nobody deserves that. I hope the motorcycling is some consolation mate.
Good plan. Approved. One-way-trip I hope. (For the vehicle, not you.)
This is quite common among Jeep owners. The foetal head-banging. Australia leads the world (closely followed by Chermany and Brexitpotamia) in the establishment of a nationwide treatment network for SBOS - shitbox ownership syndrome. They’re called ‘pubs’. The afflicted gather for regular Jeepaholic Anonymous meetings most evenings.
Norman is of course talking about this.
This is a brilliant commercialisation strategy, when you think about it. You engineer-in above-average pants-pooping proclivity, and then you offer the sufferer a solution. Leverage that unreliability.
Some form of failsafe communication is of course a great idea for anyone visiting Dingo Piss Creek. This is of course upgraded from ‘good idea’ to ‘essential’ in one of those Jeep shitheaps.
Did the Casio marketing department get this dead right, or was it a genuine balls-up? We may never know…
There’s only so long anyone can last among all the predators ‘out there’ in one’s three-and-a-half tonne sewage transport system when one’s Jeep’s pants have developed a bilateral ischemic poop embolism outside mobile range.
The only fly in the ointment, as I see it, would be overcoming the natural reluctance I would experience, personally, when faced with the prospect of putting my faith in any Jeep-branded product if my life actually depended upon it.
Props to them for ballsy marketing, though. As with any disease, however, a microgram of prevention is worth more than a kilo of cure. As Nanna used to say.
Mazda’s CX-70 is a large five-seat SUV with generous legroom, loads of equipment and a supremely comfortable ride. It’s one of four new additions to the brand’s prestige model onslaught, but for a fraction the price of a premium German SUV.