Launched: Ranger Rover Sport is a new dog with the same fleas
Have you heard the news about the new Range Rover Sport? And did you here: Alfa Romeo has done something for its customers. Here’s the latest shitbox brand news…
In highly unimportant automotive news, Land Rover has launched the new Range Rover Sport - the peasant’s Rangie - by driving it out of a sewer, or similar, in Iceland.
The allegedly visceral and uncompromising peasant’s Rangie ascended a 193-metre spillway against a tide of waste water flowing at the brain-bending rate of 750 tonnes a minute.
It’s exactly the kind of thing they advise you not to do in the owner’s manual, typically.
‘Out of the sewer’ is of course a bold, new trajectory for the Indian green oval badge. Only time will tell if the latest peasant’s Rangie can live up to this bold new direction out there, on the road, or in the dealership service department, where, frankly, the direction of travel has traditionally been: Into the sewer..
Don’t ever drive your Range Rover in this matter, lest you and your warranty are laughed out of the dealership, despite their marketing message.
For more evidence as to how this new brand strategy will play out for Land Rover more broadly, you can check out What the new Land Rover Defender probably says about you >> and take my exclusive self-help education course: How To Do PR with a Land Rover case study >>
My AutoExpert AFFORDABLE ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE PACKAGE
If you’re sick of paying through the neck for roadside assistance I’ve teamed up with 24/7 to offer AutoExpert readers nationwide roadside assistance from just $69 annually, plus there’s NO JOINING FEE
Full details here >>
AutoExpert DISCOUNT OLIGHT TORCHES
These flashlights are awesome. I carry the Olight Warrior Mini 2 every day - it’s tiny, robust, and super useful in the field or in the workshop. Olight is a terrific supporter of AutoExpert.
Use the code AEJC to get a 12% discount >>
ALFA ROMEO CELEBRATES SALES MILESTONE
In other shitbox news, Alfa Romeo Australia, which has managed to sell almost 200 cars this year - 200 - that’s about two a day - has increased its warranty to five years, with unlimited kilometres.
But, in even bigger news, they’ve decided to offer you a proper warranty now - they’re doing something for a customer - for a change. If you’re stupid enough to buy one, of course.
Even Toyota, which spends more time asleep than the ACCC, some years, managed to adopt a five-year warranty, a couple of years ago. (On January 1, 2019 - after stating categorically, just four and a half months earlier, that it had no plans whatsoever to do that.) Well done Alfa, for being so in touch with customer sentiment and prevailing industry standards.
Alfa Romeo Australia said the move, which is frankly years too late, was:
Apparently they said this with an entirely straight face. ‘Reputability’ actually means ‘the state of having a good reputation’.
Academy Award for ‘straight-faced message delivery’ despite the contrary evidence, doubtless to follow.
The CX-60 combines performance, batteries and SUV-luxury to beat Lexus, Mercedes and BMW while Mazda refuses to go fully electric in favour of big inline six-cylinder engines. If your family needs lots of legroom, a big boot, and grunt, the CX-60 needs to go on your shortlist.