Avoiding car dealer ambush sales tactics: DIY consumer advice
Car dealership salespeople are experts at extracting the maximum amount of money out of DIY consumers like you - especially if you’re not combat ready. Time to suit up…
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Car dealers are just such hysterically effective ambush predators. We've all been there: they've got tricks and traps and convoluted tactics and it’s all a means of coercing you across the line while milking you for even more money while you're down.
Perhaps we should talk about exactly that before you start thinking about buying your next new car before the Christmas rush.
If you do want to DIY it in the dealership, not only are you brave, but perhaps we should address this question from somebody just like you only named Rodney who says:
What is the deal with the waiver form that dealers demand you sign if you refuse paint protection? What is the legality around this practice?
Rodney
I think a lot of people are just blindsided by this kind of stuff at dealerships.
You have to remember that dealers are ambush predators and you're in their territory, standing on their X, which is exactly where you don't want to be in an ambush.
So you just have to assess what they're trying to do and the fact that even though this can be so polite and seemingly amicable, it really is an adversarial kind of negotiation. In the modern world we're not trained to look for these kinds of threats, we’re not accustomed to the fact that some people out there are trying to coerce you.
The best strategy for avoiding these traps is to look up at the clock and make sure that you're aware that that clock up on the showroom reads ‘bullshit o'clock’.
The thing about bullshit is it could be true or it could be false; it could be any combination of truth or falsehood, but the objective of bullshit is to further the objective of the bullshitter. So, whatever the bullshitter wants to achieve he can use any combination of truth or falsehood - which the average person isn’t trained to spot - to get you across the line and achieve his objective, which in this case, is to milk you of even more cash.
Clearly the sale is already happening, but he or she now wants to extract every last dollar before you’re closed and off the market.
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How to take a consumer for everything they’ve got
How long have cars been painted? It has to be for like 150 years, and paint technology has improved and improved and improved. Modern paint has this sort of rock-hard clear coat over the colour and it frankly doesn't need protecting. It just doesn't.
The sell about paint protection, fabric protection, all this stuff, is the new baby fear. If you're having a new baby then you don't want to put your new baby in a second-hand baby capsule, do you? You wouldn’t want to put your new baby in a used cot or dress them in hand-me-down clothes, because you want the best for the new baby. Right? Isn’t that right, materialistic, gullible, disposable resource consuming parents of the modern world. Right?
A new car is sold to you like it’s a new baby. Forget it. In six weeks time (or maybe six months) it's just going to be a car.
Let's face it, if it's a mainstream car like a Mazda CX-5 or a Mazda3 or a Hyundai i30 or a Tucson, it's going to be brand new for a little while and it's just going to devolve into a normal car, right? It's going to be your personal shitbox and you might take care of it, but it’s not going to be a collector's item. It's not going to be some mothballed barnfind to sell for $400,000 in 2050 before you retire. It's just not.
Paint protection is exactly this kind of sell. The dealer does not care whether you protect the paint on your car or not, the dealer wants the money. He'll get the paint protection guy to come in, then he's going to pay them whatever agreed amount, then the dealer’s going to add his customary 200, 300, 1000 percent mark-up and charge you for it. That's what they want.
They don't care if this is a benefit to you or if it's completely useless. The Worst Thing About Owning a Modern Car is Bad Customer Service >>
But I'd suggest, particularly with paint protection, you've got to read the warranty document that comes with the paint protection because so often they will say it comes with something like a 10-year warranty or however much worth of guarantee, only to find in the fine print it is almost impossible to comply with the requirements in that contract.
To have that protection for that length of time, there's often annual inspections and strict conditions, how many times it can be exposed to the sun or water or who won the election. Who's got time to do all that and who does that? Is it even necessary? No.
Regarding the waiver that they get you to sign, if you decline there's all this theatrical pressure. You're standing right on the X at this point. It's an ambush. They’re trying you on. Planting that seed of guilt and doubt. Hoping you’ll cave in.
If you're reluctant to go for the paint protection and you say ‘I'm already at my limit, I don't want the paint protection’, there is a theatrical drama about how you don't want the paint protection for the new baby. The salesperson had better ring the department of community services or at least get you to sign this document that explains to everyone in the future that you said no when they told you what a great idea it was.
The fact is you don't have to sign anything, just tell them to go to buggery (politely). It's that simple. This is what you've got to do in an ambush. Get off the X, create some distance, increase the angle of attack, anything to move away from attacker so they’re not set up for you. You should go in knowing the plan consists of staying off the X and being ready for counter-attack. Or something.
It’s important to say no to this kind of stuff because some documents, yes, you do have to sign. You’ll have to sign to agree to purchase the car as a contract, that's fair enough. There are a few documents in various commercial situations such as finance, chattel mortgages, leasing or trading-in. But that’s business.
Being led around by the nose to ‘come over here, sit down, sign this…’, it's a process. It's an endurance event and the reality is that the form is meaningless. Just refuse to sign it; it's just a coercive practice that pumps up the perceived gravity or consequence of your refusal to agree to the fantastic (but utterly bullshit) paint protection.
Now, Australian Consumer Law says that all products that you buy, essentially, have to be reasonably durable and this includes the paint on a modern car. Manufacturers, when you read the bloody brochure, don’t say, ‘Oh, look, the paint, yeah it's pretty poor - you'll have to protect it with some aftermarket solution.’ That's not in the brochure. Why? Because the paint's not pretty poor. The paint is reasonably durable. So paint protection is not needed.
It's just a coercive practice designed to guilt you into allowing their Hoover into your pocket to suck out your money. This waiver really is just there so that they can get you to have another look at the seriousness of your refusal and maybe think again into signing up for paint protection, fabric protection, wheel and tyre insurance, headlight fading protective film, on and on.
Just don't spray hydrochloric acid all over the car every evening and you'll be okay. Don't roost your chooks or cats in the car overnight and you probably won't need the fabric protection.
Rust protection is another scam that they sell you on.
Pro Tip: For at least the past 25 years modern cars have been galvanized, so they don't rust. They shouldn't rust, anyway. Except in the case of a certain LDV dual-cab ute >>
Rust is more of a 70s, 80s, even an early 90s thing. When I was growing up, all of my shitbox cars, when I was poor and young, they all rusted. But not so much anymore. You don't see too many late model cars coming to rust in Australia. You might in Canada or the US, parts of the world where they salt the roads because it's so icy cold in winter. Bust is a non-thing.
In reality, most of these aftermarket things are really just there to pump up the dealership's profits and you will not compromise your vehicle in any way by just saying no to all of that rubbish.
This just amounts to you getting off the X and exerting some control and control is the key point. Because you really have a lot of power when you buy a car; you've got the cash, which means you've got the power to make the rules. That's why the dealership tries to lead you down this particular track, all dotted with various exes along the way.
They want to take your perception of your position i.e that you actually have a lot of power, but you might not think that because you're in unfamiliar territory being led down this path by an adversary.
They want to disempower you. So that they can milk you for all your worth, and it really is incumbent on you to protect your own financial interests by just digging deep and getting off the X.
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