ACCC signs deal with devil (by 'devil' I mean 'VW')
The ACCC channels Faust, while Volkswagen's lawyers train for the synchronised ‘bend at the waist’ at the Tokyo Olympiad - metaphorically. Move over Cirque du Soleil...
A blizzard blew through hell recently, and the temperature fell below freezing for the first time ever. Hospitals overflowed - or is that ‘overflew’? It should be ‘overflew’ - with souls of the damned suffering hypothermia. A brand new torment, of which Dante would be proud.
I know this happened because Volkswagen arseholes here in Shistsville have entered into a court-enforceable undertaking, which essentially says they’ll try to obey consumer law now.
That would be a first, and admittedly rather a different look for them.
Here’s the ACCC/Volkswagen press release >>
VW court-enforceable undertaking >>
Download the full ACCC/VW agreement >>
Part of the deal is a ‘60-day refund or return policy’ where Monkey-gassers Down Under, Proprietary Limited >> will refund your money or replace your car, should it go poopy in its trousers and be thus un-driveable in the first 60 days you own it.
The court-enforceable undertaking is specific to Volkswagen the brand, not Volkswagen the company.
Other key brands that exist under the Volkswagen Group Death Star rubric: Audi, Skoda, Porsche, etc. Are not part of this deal - they’re free, at least for the time being, to continue their time-honoured tradition of treating you, the customer, as if you are merely human excrement ... once you've parted with the big bucks.
It should also be noted this deal is separate to the ACCC’s reaming of Volkswagen and Audi >> by way of litigation in Federal Court for behaving like such unprincipled arseholes over Dieselgate - allegedly.
If you think this new arrangement is a reason to put Volkswagen - arguably the world’s most unethical carmaker - back on your shopping list, you’re insane. They remain the producers of some gorgeous cars that are great to drive - but are ultimately unreliable shitheaps with nonexistent customer support.
Good for devout masochists and people who like to roll the automotive dice on the edge only.