Should I buy another Land Rover Defender?
QUESTION
Dear John,
Three weeks ago was my birthday and I picked up my first new car, a Defender D300 110 SE. I was temporarily happy.
I bought it because my previous vehicle, a 2019 BMW X5, was a comfortable tourer and more than capable of towing my 2200kg boat, I found I regularly pushed it past its level of off-road ability both on the beach and in the bush. So I thought I might be better suited to a 4X4 rather than an SUV.
I wanted a car that drove similar to my X5 on the road and had similar off-road capability to a 200 Series LandCruiser. I decided the Defender would go pretty close to fitting that brief, so I sold the X5 for what I paid after 35,000km and 10 months of ownership (thank you, COVID) and joined the Defender queue.
After a five-month wait, the vehicle finally arrived.
After having the car for one week, I noticed fresh oil stains on my driveway so I booked into the local dealer to have it sorted the following week with just 1600kms on it. Two days later I received a call from JLR head office saying that the engine block was stuffed and the engine needed to be replaced.
Not very keen on the idea of blokes in a Sydney shed having a crack at installing a new engine in my brand new $120K car, I expressed my concern to the customer service lady and I was told that JLR executives would discuss the possibility of them purchasing the car back from me.
A few days passed and I receive another call from JLR to say that they are looking into all possibilities which now include fixing the oil leak, replacing the engine or purchasing the vehicle back. Regardless of what the outcome is, that current car is now dead to me, so I’m again in the market for a full sized 4x4, however there isn’t much out there that I find very interesting.
Ford Bronco isn’t coming, the Ineos Grenadier looks like much more of a 4X4 than a comfortable road car and isn’t here yet. Toyota 300 Series Land Cruiser looks okay, but I’d want the GR for the diff locks and 150K is a lot of coin for a vehicle I’ll have to wait for anyway, the Jeep 392 Wrangler isn’t coming, a Mercedes G-Wagen is far too expensive, the Nissan Patrol is big and thirsty but a possibility, and a 4X4 dual-cab ute is a ‘maybe’, but it’s not really the same and they all seem so slow when towing.
I think it’s a shame the Pajero is 1000 years old with a gutless engine because they are a good size, comfortable and work well enough off-road.
I’ll probably end up waiting nine months for another Defender unless you have a better idea. In the meantime JLR have organised a loan car for me. A Jaguar E-Pace. I’d be interested in your thoughts.
Best regards,
Gerry
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ANSWER
Gerry,
Stop smoking crack, dude. Defender is an epic shitheap with wall-to-wall major design defects. It’s emblematic of everything wrong with Land Rover, which even the Indians have been unable to fix.
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YouTubers TFL Studios in the US bought one. Watch their saga, including where the dealership was fitting a bulbar, nicked a wiring harness and because that’s not a serviceable part, the car had to be thrown away.
You’ve got too much money and you’re not spending enough time thinking rationally.
Buy a nice reliable car to drive daily, and a second-hand ute to thrash off-road. Pimp the crap out of it if you want.
Next birthday, just pay a stern German woman to whip you rhythmically - same pain; less cost.
As a professional, I should warn you that taking drugs and selecting a vehicle is contra-indicated.
You’re welcome.
JC
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