Holden just killed the Barina

 

As much as I enjoy a good public execution, Holden just killed the Barina, after three decades of moderate success, taking yet another step closer to the brink

 
 
 
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That’s not even the humiliating part of this report.

Holden killed the Barina nameplate in Australia last week - a perennial shitheap (at least after they changed from a Euro-sourced Barina and put it on a glorified Daewoo) but quite a successful seller nonetheless.

Six generations of Barina had been sold here for more than 30 years. The writing is so on the wall. Cue DR Kevorkian … set … and … action! Some Holden dude reportedly said the Barina:

“...will not continue as part of the Holden line-up.”

Love those euphemisms. Unfortunately, nine minutes after entry interface, the Space Shuttle Columbia experienced a thermal overload disassembly malfunction.

Jesus… ‘will not continue’. ‘We’re killing it,’ right?

This statement went on, allegedly:

“Our Barina customers will continue to have the highest quality service from our Holden dealers.”

See also:

That’s export-grade PR bullshit. These are like facts from alternative universe, because in this one, just over a year ago, on August the 2nd 2017, Holden entered into a section 87B court-enforceable undertaking with the ACCC.

Basically this is a 22-page, public domain, regulatory pull-through around which which ACCC Chairman Rod Sims identified the epic scope of Holden’s long-term, entrenched mis-representation of consumer law obligations to its customers, who were systematically violated by Holden’s business practices, right when they needed this mythical (quote) “highest quality service”.

Read more at ACCC >>

Translation: They’re arseholes at customer support. This is a fact. They don’t have to like the facts. Nobody does.

You don’t have to be Bob Woodward to dig this up, by the way. Google can help. Any statement, in my view, that Holden’s customers will (quote): “continue to enjoy the highest quality service” is indefensible, and at complete odds with the facts.

It’s also, in my view, an epic insult to your intelligence that Holden thinks it can say these kinds of things with impunity. Does the company think you’re that dumb? Or is the gravitational pull of the bullshit just that extreme internally that it really does seem plausible? So: Barina, RIP. Another 4000-ish sales Holden will not make next year. Barina will go to that great shitbox parking lot in the sky, with the harp music and the clouds, and the Craptiva, the real Commodore, the Epica, the Volt, etc.

If you were a Holden dealer you’d have to be thinking about the value of the franchise now, versus the inevitable trend to zero over coming months. When do you cut your losses and run?

Holden’s focus - to the extent that you can have one on death row - appears to be missile-locked on prick-teasing us all over its upcoming Acadia seven-seat SUV.

That’s a hastily rebadged GMC Acadia with a 15-year-old engine - so perhaps tomorrow we’ll should talk about why Acadia will fall flat on its face Down Under.

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