Elon Musk resigns as Tesla Chairman over epic tweet 'fail'


Elon Musk, the L Ron Hubbard of green energy, the Donald Trump of tech, the Charles Ponzi of plugging in, has been compelled to resign as Chairman of the Board of Tesla (plus $20 million fine)


Unfortunately for Tesla and investors, the Rocket Man will remain CEO, and will probably still make entertaining, financially fraught, bullshit public statements. If history repeats.

Read more at CNBC >>

I see in my crystal balls, a stream of entertaining bullshit statements and claims divorced from reality from Tesla into the future.

In short: Business as usual … unless the house of cards folds up and Daimler or the MonkeySpankers - ™ - buys the brand for six cents on the dollar.

This report is my honest personal opinion.

Rather than go to court and defend his bullshit statement about having funding secured for US$420 a share to take Tesla private, Mr Musk has entered into a deal with the Retardistani Securities and Exchange Commission. The R-SEC, or ‘Arse-EC’.

And, frankly, he didn’t put up much of a fight - reaching for his ankles, metaphorically, just two days after being sued by R-SEC for fraud and misleading conduct.

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Once again, Tesla shareholders proved to be the biggest losers in the transaction - with the stock plummeting an incredible 14 per cent.

Stephanie Avakian, co-director of R-SEC’s Enforcement Division, said:

“The total package of remedies and relief announced today are specifically designed to address the misconduct at issue by strengthening Tesla's corporate governance and oversight in order to protect investors.” - Stephanie Avakian

Perhaps Mr Musk had good reason to bend over and instruct Mission Control to announce a ‘go’ for docking procedures with the Avakian strap-on.

If he’d gone to court and lost R-SEC would have barred him permanently from serving as a top exec or officer in Tesla or any other public company. Permanently.

Musk will also buy $20 million in over-priced Tesla bullshit stock to offset the $20 million fine imposed upon Tesla.

Perhaps the unkindest cut of all in the settlement - if you’re a dickhead billionaire - is the specific condition that Mr Musk may not admit nor deny misleading investors under the civil fraud charge.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but unnamed insiders mentioned in the Washington Post’s report on this said Musk backed away from settling much earlier for just this reason.

Read more at The Washington Post >>

This condition of neither admitting nor denying means Musk cannot now nor in the future disavow the terms of the settlement. In other words, he specifically may not grab his smartphone and channel his inner Trump, and inflict the following kind of bullshit claim on his 20 million followers:

‘Yeah, I settled, but hey, we all know I really did nothing wrong. They overreacted and it was just cheaper to settle. I’m so cool. Please love me.

He can’t say that, nor anything like it. And I’d suggest that if you’re an emotionally stunted, spoiled 47-year-old biatch who never grew up, with way too much money and no friends, who lives life through Twitter, personal opinion…

...and I’m not for a moment suggesting Mr Musk is all of that, not for a moment. But if he were, just as a thought experiment, not being able to tweet bullshit claims like that would almost certainly be the unkindest regulatory cut of all.


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