Mail Sack 12

In this episode:

Mazda6 TV Commercial 'Fail'

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Kicking off the programme - let’s start with a ‘Muppet of the week’ - an automotive tribute to Jim Henson. And another battle in my ongoing jihad on automotive bullshit. This week, it’s Mazda, which like all carmakers spends millions on television commercials. They get the chopper up, activate the FLIR, shoot it all on Hollywood-style a Red Epic or an Arri Alexa with a bunch of wankers on set … not that this is any guarantee of not stuffing it up monumentally. See if you can pick the key eff-up in this ad...

Did you spot it? It’s right there in your face, just like the testicles on a big boy dog.

Yes to power means no to efficiency. Really? Sadi Carnot, James Joule and Rudolf Clausius are spinning in their graves. This bullshit demonstrates just how profoundly out of touch car companies are with the actual machines they sell. No engineers were consulted in the production of this advertisement - that’s for bloody sure. For the record, increasing ‘efficiency’ actually delivers more power. The efficiency proposition is: More torque at the crank from the same amount of fuel. Efficiency is - technically - the ratio of energy in the fuel to work produced by the crankshaft.

What these Muppets really mean is ‘economy’. Economy is always opposed to performance - so if you improve the efficiency of an engine, you get one of two things in extremis, or a combination: better economy for the same performance, or better performance for the same economy. Economy and performance are always at war - and efficiency improves both. You can have a high-powered engine with terrific efficiency. In fact, that’s one of the best ways to do it.

That television commercial cost Mazda at least $500,000, in my estimation. You’ve got your chopper. You’ve you your gyro rigs. Probably shot in 4K. Closed roads. You’ve got your actors. You’ve got your Hollywood dolly moves. Your high frame-rate slo-mo. Probably more than half. So you’d think they could at least get the script right … especially as ‘efficiency’ has been Mazda’s unique selling proposition for the past seven or eight years. Hi pleased to meet you. We’re Mazda. We sell efficiency - even though we don’t really know what it is. Such marketing bullshit. You know, the marketing director of Mazda Australia, Alastair Doak, not a bad guy, he probably gets paid (I’m guessing) about as much as a Federal cabinet minister every year - apparently, in my opinion - to fuck this stuff up.

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More Mazda6 reports

Volkswagen Dieselgate Class Action Update

Brace yourself - or at least hold your breath - for the latest Volkswagen update. Two law firms launched class actions against those polluting shitheads at Volkswagen, Audi and Skoda recently - and one of them to tried to advertise their class action on radio. According to Media Watch, Bannister Law attempted to advertise its class action on KIIS FM, NOVA FM, HIT, Triple-M, and Macquarie - and according to the ABC all of them declined Bannister’s kind offer of money in exchange for paid advertising space. In the immortal words of Julius Sumner Miller: Why is it so?

I’m tipping a suit from Volkswagen has spoken, sotto voce, to other faceless suits at ARN, Nova, Southern Cross-Austereo, Macquarie, and Fairfax. Words to the effect of ‘you run any class action ads, and you can kiss future Volkswagen business goodbye’. I’ve had this kind of thing happen to me at Channel 7 - Holden threatened to pull its ads from the network, following a story I commented on, back in 2011, in which I said there would be no car manufacturing industry in Australia in 10 years.

Never mind that this has actually subsequently happened, and that I was ultimately way too generous in my time assessment. It got really ugly behind the scenes - and it shows you just how unafraid carmakers are to flex their financial muscles to manipulate exactly what you hear about them in the public domain. It’s what they do.

On the one hand, I guess, you’ve got media proprietors - who should be free to decline to accept an advertiser’s money if they want to. I mean, this is hardly the former Soviet Union, right? But on the other hand, you’ve got the freedom of speech - and this hardly seems to be a victory for that. But I’d love to know what you think, in the comments feed below.

To me it seems people talk about corruption in the media all the time - and they’re right. The public interest - you, basically - are copping it from both ends. Up front, the reports you read are manipulated by the staggering amount spent by the car industry treating motoring journalists like rockstars, currying positive comment. And while this is going on, huge commercial vested interests come in from the rear to control what’s ultimately said. You’re in the middle, and I’m not sure any lubricant is being given away free. So enjoy the ride.

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See also:

Tesla comment corporate complaint

Now to Tesla: Tesla is not especially overjoyed with my recent comments that the Model S was a crap choice for car of the year by Carsales.

Watch my Tesla-critical report: Bad cars of the year >>

Heath Walker, the marketing and communications manager for Tesla in Australia wrote to me following my critical commentary on that:

“Some of the descriptions of the Model S were completely unfair and also suggest some inaccuracies. The Model S was downgraded by Consumer Reports, however we have since stated that these issues have been addressed and were done so for production of Australian vehicles. In addition, 97% of those owners surveyed said they would buy a Model S again - something you left out of your report.”

You know, Consumer Reports did something no other media outlet - certainly none in Australia - would ever do. They bought a Tesla Model S, and it promptly broke down before they could road test it. Consumer Reports assessed its reliability as ‘below average’ and downgraded it to ‘not recommended’ - that’s the reductio ad absurdum of anyone giving it a car of the year award. It doesn’t deserve one. Below average reliability cars don’t. But the rich greenies who fork out the big bucks would, apparently, do it all again. Go figure. Mr Walker added:

“You were also recently quoted on Today Tonight, whilst I was in the room for recording as saying our vehicle is a real game changer. To now call it a "shitbox" seems a real change of view - all because it was given COTY.”

Fair enough - an apparent contradiction - my ‘game changer’ comments on Channel 7 from months ago related to the technology. It was, and it remains, a game changer. A premium EV with decent range. Everything else in the EV domain is apparently a glorified golf buggy. So: it’s a game-changer. But me calling it a shitbox has nothing to do with the award, and everything to do with the vehicle’s on-the-record reliability.

The urban dictionary actually defines the term ‘shitbox’ as being something that is low quality or non-working. Given the number of faults Consumer Reports found dogging the Model S after their own experience and also from polling more than 1000 owners - conclusion: below average reliability - I think I’ll clarify my assessment: The Tesla Model S is a game-changing shitbox. Don’t shoot the messenger; it qualifies itself. Mr Walker added:

“We do not offer to cover costs for flights, accommodation or any events for media. So your final comment is unfair to Tesla and should be retracted."

Well, Heath, I’m not going to retract that because my comments there were clearly directed at the car industry as a whole - of which Tesla is a rather insignificant sideshow exhibit, with all due respect. I mean, you don’t even quote sales figures. And the car industry generally is - as alleged by me - guilty as sin spending  excessive sums glad-handing in my view a bunch of dumb journos in implicit exchange for positive comment about vehicles. It’s totally corrupt - but it is refreshing that Tesla doesn’t do this, and we’ve clarified that explicitly.

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Car of the year catches fire

This Ford Everest caught fire with a motoring journalist at the wheel

This Ford Everest caught fire with a motoring journalist at the wheel

Car of the year egg on face keeps on coming this year … and doesn’t get any more delicious than this. The day after Fairfax Media’s Drive gave Ford’s new Everest its car of the year 2015 gong, News Limited motoring journalist Peter Barnwell was test driving one on a public road when it problematically caught fire and burned to the ground. Warning lights, sudden power loss, crackling sounds, towering inferno on four wheels, with a blue oval badge - that’s the basic timeline of events. That awesome Ford quality control…

It must’ve been pretty well alight, too. New South Wales’ fearless fireys were on the scene in five minutes, but it took about 20 minutes to get the fire out. A solid spectator event. Mr Barnwell was OK, thankfully - he got out safely - but isn’t it lucky he wasn’t a mum with a bunch of kids in the car, some in baby capsules. Ford says it’s the result of a loose battery cable because the battery was replaced - by a Ford technician - in Thailand, where the vehicle is made.

Ford Australia safety expert Andy Cooper told News Limited: “We think it’s very unlikely.” Well, it happened, Mr Cooper. Unlikely things do. Not much consolation when it does. The poorly reassembled cable resulted in a high-resistance joint, which caused the fire. The typical car company response here points the bone implicitly at the owner - but Ford can’t really do that here. It’s their car, after all, and it was exhaustively prepared for a media assessment - which usually means getting a thorough going over, just before handing it over for a week-long loan.

Apparently Ford has given the technician who incorrectly replaced the battery a stern talking to, and technical retraining. It’s the limpest of limp-dick responses, in my view. Modern vehicles must not spontaneously burn to the ground. That’s not negotiable. This is an absolute black-flag, in my view. It is not acceptable.

We first-world humans have been building cars for a century or so - and high-resistance joints leading to fires is an entirely straightforward engineering risk. The blame for this fire does not rest with some junior burger Thai technician, who’s really just a convenient scapegoat. Metaphorically, he’s a monkey, and the blame actually rests with the organ grinder.

The blame for this fire rests with the dipshit engineers (honest personal opinion) who designed a system that was vulnerable to high-resistance reassembly after something as mundane as a battery replacement. Why not just design the cable terminals and their attachment in such a way that they’re either rock solid or non-functional? If Curiosity can drill holes in rocks on Mars, this has to be possible.

Frankly, Ford has form catching fire - News Limited says the company is still investigating two Ford Ranger fires (it’s built on the same production line as the Everest). And, for historical perspective, just Google the term ‘Pinto Memo’ for interest and read about the 27 poor bastards who lost their lives in fires because Ford couldn’t be arsed fixing the Pinto - a great insight into corporate culture right there. At the very least, you’ll see the value Ford places on human life. Correction: Customer life.

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More Lemon Car Reports

Jeep's Aussie sales shocker continues

Jeep has had another shocking month on sale in Australia. Sales were down 45 per cent in November, compared with November last year. This follows a 43 per cent drop in October, compared with 2014, and a 27 per cent drop in September. Frankly I think word is finally getting around that when you sign up for the seven-slot grille you also get - completely free - some of the market’s worst reliability together with the absolute worst internal culture of customer non-support. It’s just their way of saying ‘thanks, idiot’.

The slide in Jeep sales commenced in June, basically, and it shows all signs of not being over yet. Lemon law parliamentary enquiry in Queensland; Teg Sethi’s epic anti-Jeep music video - there’s some real traction out there on this issue. And this fall from grace is occurring in a market where small, medium and large SUV sales are on fire - although not like the Everest. SUV sales are out-stripping the total vehicle market by a factor of seven in the case of small SUVs, and a factor of four in medium SUVs.

Here’s a case in point of Jeep’s shithouse attitude to its customers. I have in my possession this letter from Fiat-Chrysler to the owner of a single problematic Jeep. This letter is the result of the ACCC allowing Fiat-Chrysler to sidestep any financial penalty for being such assholes to its customers if it agreed to follow their complaints up. Bear in mind there are thousands of people in receipt of a letter like this.

(Click to enlarge.) It’s a firm offer to look into a customer complaint - in 18 months’ time.

I’m in the wrong line of business to be lost for words, but, at the risk of offending another fake god, Jeezuz. Only on planet Let’s All Smoke Crack is this a reasonable ‘we’re on it’ response. Have they put a temp from an agency on it, and she’s only in every Friday? I’ve been brushed - many times - many, many times - mainly by hot chicks who weren’t inclined to sleep with me - so I know what that looks and feels like. And that letter is a rock-solid, 24-carat, weapons-grade brush. It’s all about doing the bare minimum to get the ACCC off its back, and nothing about customer satisfaction.

See Teg Sethi's epic anti-Jeep video >>

The only thing these clowns at Fiat Chrysler - talking about the company, not the people - the only thing they understand is the bottom line - and that southbound trend in sales is the only light at the end of the tunnel for existing owners. That sales slump is more likely to catalyse a change in Fiat-Chrysler’s behaviour than anything the corporate watchdog will ever achieve. The ACCC is of course the ‘erectile dysfunction’ of corporate regulators, but you cannot keep treating customers like shit forever, mo matter how clever your advertising…

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Julie says: "You’re always recommending the Kia Sorento and Hyundai Santa Fe over the Nissan X-TRAIL and Mitsubishi Outlander. As far as I can tell the Outlander and X-TRAIL are at least as good, and they’re also Japanese and cheaper."

Julie, there’s a pretty clear objective case that the two South Koreans are better. Better warranty, better servicing, they’ve got a full-sized spare tyre, better engine technology, more features, better tech generally, the 2.2 CRDi engine in the Santa Fe and Sorento is a real cracker, and it’s got a proper automatic transmission. So - in my view the only reason to buy an X-TRAIL or Outlander is if you don’t have the money for a Sorento or Santa Fe, and you desperately need a seven-seater.

And the whole business about not getting all-wheel-drive with seven seats in X-TRAIL is an ill-conceived engineering disgrace. It’ll be interesting to see what the upcoming Mazda CX-9 is like, however.

See also:

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Bill Stone says: "Seems like it's designed to be a pain in the arse to anyone around you who has to get their car out. :P"

This is about my video on the self-park system in Santa Fe. Bill, it’s up to everyone to park responsibly - and in Australia the legal limit is one metre. That’s the minimum clearance you need to leave front and rear, and I guess a ranger can ping you for it if he sees you impinging some other poor bastard’s clearance. The new Santa Fe has a ‘get me out of here’ mode for tight spots - when some mongrel parks you in.

Latest Santa Fe reports >>
Robot Reverse Parking in action (version 1.0) >>

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Michael Levy says: "What was wrong with VW DSG box?"

Michael, did you spend the past few years dead? Been abducted by aliens? Living with a tribe in the Amazon? Locked in a rubber room, psychotically disengaged? These are just a few acceptable answers to the vexed question of how the fuck you cannot know 1.6 million vehicles were recalled in November 2013 because the 7-speed DSG in Volkswagen, Audi, SEAT and Skoda disengaged from driving causing sudden power loss thanks to a short circuit caused by sulphur buildup in the transmission oil. If only they’d designed it with the zeal of the team which designed the NOx-belching defeat device. The DSG is just one of those epically shit Volkswagen designs - but don’t worry: they look great and drive really well. Until they don’t, and they’re worth nothing.

Full report:

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GTRB30 says: "Add me to the potential 1000s of people who will now not be buying a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Only issue is what to buy instead? Do you think it will be worth waiting to see the New Mitsubishi Pajero Sport? Loving the front and side view, but I think whoever was previously in charge of Triton's styling decided to have an upside-down Volvo XC90 brain haemorrhage, when styling the rear. Fortuner and Everest, both haven't overly impressed for different reasons and Santa Fe and Sorento just don't quite tow enough. Discovery Sport?"

Land Rover Discovery - not the Sport - is an obvious alternative to the Jeep - but no epic track record of ultimate reliability there either. And it’s more expensive. Everest is on fire, clearly, so I’d be putting that on the back … ummm … burner. Everest, Fortuner, Pajero Sport - not nearly as cool as Grand Cherokee and also not in the market long enough to know what problems (other than burning to the ground randomly in the case of Everest) might come to light. Colorado 7: ugly but apparently benign. Discovery Sport only tows 200kg more than a Hyundai Santa Fe / Kia Sorento. So it’s a bit of a bastard the Grand Cherokee is such a shitbox, and Fiat Chrysler is so bad at customer service - otherwise I’d be recommending Grand Cherokee every day of the week.

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More Jeep Reports


Alex says: "I’m thinking of taking up a 1.5 per cent car loan from a manufacturer. Are there any catches?"

Alex - the Reserve Bank of Australia has the cash rate currently at two per cent. It’s been two per cent since the 6th of May. Therefore, 1.5 per cent is too good to be true. The best real interest rates on car loans - for A-Grade clients with solid histories and asset backing - are about 3.9 per cent. So 1.5, 1 or even zero per cent is a joke - usually on you if you take it up. They just pump up the price of the car, or reduce the amount to which they’ll discount it, to leave sufficient funds in the deal to pay the financier under the table.

It’s another car industry ‘too good to be true’ offer - and its proper name is sub-vented finance. Its real purpose is to hook you. It increases traffic at dealerships, and if you’re an unsuspecting punter looking at an X-TRAIL or a CX-5 then if Nissan offers 1 per cent finance, that can be enough for many buyers to take the CX-5 - which is objectively a better vehicle - off the table. Sub-vented finance is a rip-off. Like a magic trick, if you believe it hard enough, it seems real.

Full report: What's really behind zero per cent finance >>

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Derek Bell-Morris: "John, the globe of the world behind you is turning in the wrong direction."

Well spotted Derek. But what’s deeply intellectually challenging is the map projected on the wall behind me: it’s moving the right way. Or perhaps Newton, Kepler, Hubble, Copernicus and Galileo were just wrong. The pope thought so - and he was infallible. Or maybe we’re just looking at the globe in a mirror.



MA77MC says: "Have you heard any more about the value of used diesel VWs? On the weekend I took my golf to the local Mazda dealer and test drove a CX-5.When I presented my 5 year old Golf TDI I was told: "Sorry mate, not interested." Is this a one off or are our cars now worthless?  I was offered $18,500 on a trade back in August."

I think you should join the class actions - Bannister Law and Maurice Blackburn are the law firms running them. Just Google Volkswagen Class Action Australia. I’m not a lawyer, but it seems you’ve suffered a financial loss as a consequence of the Volkswagen Group’s criminal behaviour - they’re motherfuckers, basically, here and abroad - and things might improve slightly for your Golf over time, but these vehicles will pretty much be forever sygmatized and tainted as shitboxes as a consequence.

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Vince Says: "Just wondering if you could give me advice on CVT transmissions. I'm looking at buying a new Hyundai Accent with a CVT for my daughter this weekend as they have a deal going including auto for $14990 drive away. I've heard you say good things with Hyundai i30s on 2UE in the past. Is the Accent a good buy? Any issues with CVT or anything I should be concerned with?"

Vince, I’ve not yet driven the CVT Accent. Generally, Accent is a decent small, cheap car, and CVTs can be OK to drive if the software controlling them makes them reasonably engaging. Subaru is pretty good at that. The CVT WRX is probably a bit of a beacon when it comes to how well a CVT can be controlled for engagement. But some CVT executions from - in particular - Honda, Nissan and Mitsubishi have been really awful. AWFUL. The acid test is simply to drive it, and see if the engine just drones endlessly. If it does: bad software control. The engine revs should adapt rapidly to changes in load conditions like hills and overtaking.

In theory there’s nothing wrong with a well executed CVT. It delivers better economy, but there are high internal clamping forces, which means potential reliability problems - but only if the design is under-done (such as on the current Nissan Pathfinder, which is a complete lemon). Hyundai has a good customer support track record and also a good transmission reliability record. So if it drives OK you’re really not taking too much of a risk with the Accent CVT.

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Nitrogen: It's a gas I

Henry Wilson says: "The military uses nitrogen in aircraft tires AND actuators due to the temperature changes during operation. I noticed a huge difference when driving through different altitudes during the winter. I was having to top off my tires bi-weekly during the season changes. With nitrogen (I don't pay anything since I use a costco membership) I can go months before my light comes on."

Henry - Realistically I think it’s been some time since your light was on mate. When was the last time you were driving at 30,000 feet and it was minus 50 degrees outside? Putting nitrogen in car tyres is a complete scam. It delivers no tangible benefit to the motorist. None. Cars are not subjected to the kinds of extreme temperature changes that aircraft are. In 30 minutes a tyre in a commercial jet can go from minus 50 degrees C at altitude and land on a runway in Dubai that’s more like 80 degrees C - hot enough to cook on. Cars just don’t do that.

But the main reason for putting nitrogen in aircraft tyres is because nitrogen does not support combustion. So: worst-case scenario: if a plane is landing on fire, and it’s going to be a hard landing, the last thing you want a bursting tyre to do is inject air into the fire. It’ll just pump up the flames. Like a big bellows in a blacksmith’s forge. Injecting nitrogen into a fire won’t matter - because it doesn’t promote combustion. You are kidding yourself if you think nitrogen maintains the pressure in your tyres any better than air - it doesn’t.

Full report: Nitrogen re-fill rip-off >>

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Nitrogen: It's a gas II

Shreman Sarah, doubtless composing this comment while humming Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas … says: "I understand  what  saying but why do racing cars (super) cars  run this (nittrgon - in ert gas  gas in their tyres) that does not expand under pressure this reduces varibles"

Shrem: please refer to my earlier answer (and my next answer is also, oddly, applicable too - so stay tuned. Nittrgon does not support combustion. So maybe Ford should put nittrgon in all Everest tyres from now on. Benefit from its in ert nature. Seriously, that nitrogen scam report of mine generates the best comments. The best. And why is it that even people who failed basic high school science feel compelled to offer a point of view? Science is not the sort of thing that is opinion led - it’s a matter of building on a huge body of established evidence, dating back hundreds of years.

Case in point, idiot: nittrgon - or any other in ert gas - even a real gas - any gas - doesn’t generally expand under pressure, you fuckwit. If everything else stays constant, increasing the pressure reduces the volume. It doesn’t expand. Gasses contract under pressure. It’s what they do. Like, you take two shoeboxes of air at one atmosphere, and you shovel all the air in the first showbox into the second shoebox. What have you got? You’ve got one shoebox of air at two atmospheres. We started with two shoeboxes at one atmosphere, and we got one shoebox at two atmospheres. It’s a miracle - like a flying horse … only this is real. Ergo, increasing the pressure reduces the volume. There’s one less nittrgon varible, there, moron.

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Nitrogen: It's a gas III

On the same subject, LipLIPI offers: “and if oxigen would leak through tyre then there would be only nitrogen left when u would top up your tyres couple of times with air you would get 99% nitrogen and 1% oxigen”

Just a minor constructive suggestion on this one, LipLIPI. Because I am all for free thought. But - just maybe - putting it out there - if you want to advance a fluid dynamics permeability hypothesis, and perhaps be taken seriously, like - I dunno - avogadro, or Robert Boyle, or Marie Curie, or even Robert Bunsen. (And Robert Bunsen is very interesting. The scientist whose nickname was ‘burner’ because he invented the fart-lighting party trick. It takes real commitment and a special kind of smarts to do that, in science...)

Anyway - if you want to be taken even half as seriously as these chemistry luminaries have been in the past, and there is plenty of cool stuff yet to discover in science, I think it’s a pretty good idea to be able to spell correctly the names of the basic gasses in one’s submission. How to get one step closer to the Nobel Prize, for dummies.

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Scorn Wannabe?

gimmi BIGpower says: “Oh shut up BALDY and answer my question, what is your qualification in the automotive scene for you to make your opinions & review's valid? Mr John cadogan your a NOBODY! watch how this twat talks to other youtube users on his so called "review" on the holden cruze, yet he calls himself a professional freelance motor journalist, and your just a scorn wannabe car anchor wanker"

Gimmi BIG - apart from a somewhat unused degree in engineering and being a motoring journalist in print, TV and radio for more than 20 years, I guess I am just a scorn wannabe car anchor wanker. It’s true. Thanks for setting me straight, Mr BIGpower. I’ll get a business card made up: John Cadogan just a scorn wannabe car anchor wanker. It certainly rolls off the tongue.

World War Me?

yoppindia says: "if everybody speaks like this guy, we would have World War every day!"

Yeah - yoppy - we would. But you have to ask yourself: Would that really be such a bad thing?

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Stephen Anthony says: "Shut up, you stupid windbag. None of this has anything to do with what you mentioned. Australia is suffering the same fate as the USA, it's being de-industrialized as part of a push by the elites for a world government. We're going to be 3rd world countries with no industry, no manufacturing, and no future, by the time they are finished. All industry will be in the orient, or Africa, or any other place they can find cheap labor."

Where are Mulder and Scully when you need them? This concerns my report on what really killed the Australian car industry. Here was me, simply presuming - as a result of actual research and face-to-face experience with some of the key dickheads sucking on the government teat and building the wrong cars badly, which actually ran the train a doomed industry off the rails early. When all along it was really those evil, covert-meeting-holding, super secret world government supporting elites.

I hate those elites. Assholes. But I guess being one would be OK. Imagine the parties in the Swiss Alps, after the world domination work-in-progress meetings. It’d be, like, wall-to-wall high-class hookers and mountains of blow. And elites. That could be a lot of fun. The world domination after party. You know, conspiracy theories are attractive to people like you, Stephen, mainly because they cut through complexity and they also facilitate some people’s needs for melodrama in their otherwise mundane lives. Let’s not let the facts get in the way of making life more sinister and interesting, right? Because sinister and interesting beats complex and mundane any day. Those fucking car industry-ruining elites. Cocksuckers.

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The 'Isuzus' have it...

ProductofNZ says: "ISUZU is pronounced 'Ee-su-zu'"


Well, tomate-o/tomato me down with a feather. Still, I’m sure there’s some common ground. I’m sure we both pronouce ‘pedantic dickhead’ the same way.

Denier? Moi?

TwoLegHuman says: "You’re a hybrid-hater, and probably a climate change-denier as well. Reducing CO2 is the greatest imperative of this generation, and the views expressed by luddites like you will not help us save the planet. Get real."

So, pi-pedal-boy: Hybrids are irrelevant to reducing CO2 emissions, when you look at the big picture. They just are; that’s mathematics. Hybrids can’t help in a meaningful way. If you want to be a green dickhead, go nuts. But please don’t tell me it’s saving the planet. That’s bullshit. I get a lot of this. I’m not a climate change scientist - but I do think we need to be prudent about wilfully burning four-and-a-half cubic kilometres of crude oil every year. That’s a proper concern. I’m not a climate change denier - but I’m not some zealot who believes in this ‘save the planet’ bullshit, either. The planet is going to survive - no matter what we burn - that’s pretty certain.

These overzealous climate-change dickheads attempt to greenwash everything. It’s undignified. ‘Save the planet’ really means ‘save humanity’ - and I am all for saving humanity - but there’s so much disinformation about the issue. (Calling CO2 ‘pollution’ for example. Turning ‘greenhouse’ into a dirty word, when it’s one of the key differences between Earth and Mars. And I know where I’d rather live.

Demonising the car, when coal-fired electricity generates four to five times the CO2 is reprehensible. Hell, in Australia, so-called ‘enteric fermentation’ emits 50 per cent more greenhouse gas than all the cars. That would be a bunch of cows and sheep burping and farting - totally true - 50 per cent more greenhouse gas than cars. Look it up on the Department of Environment’s website.)

Like everything else, climate has become submerged in a tsunami of bullshit, and it’s getting deeper. It’s a great idea to conserve oil - for energy security, for it to be available as far as possible into the future, for future generations, to reduce individual transportation cost - these things are not up for grabs. They are reasons to conserve oil. And if there is a true climate emergency, conservation will help.

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Di-hydrogen Monoxide

But there is so much staggering disinformation. And it’s so insidious. Politicians talking up the environment as a vote-winner; car companies disingenuously greenwashing themselves. It’s like a layer of green bullshit on everything. You hear about CO2 every day, but you’ve probably never heard of an even more potentially dangerous chemical called di-hydrogen monoxide, which is sometimes also called hydroxyl acid. This is dangerous shit, and yet it’s virtually unregulated and you probably come into contact with it every day. And it has a profound environmental impact.

Di hydrogen monoxide is a major component in acid rain (it’s actually the major component) and it’s used in every nuclear reactor on earth. Every one. In the most radioactive zones of those reactors. It’s a major greenhouse contributor if it escapes. It can cause severe burns - deadly burns in some cases, and in sufficient quantities it also poses a distinct human suffocation hazard. It’s a corrosion accelerator and a common heavy-duty industrial solvent. Used in virtually every industry. It’s often found in both benign and malignant tumours removed from human hospital patients.

Despite all of this evidence, and it is overwhelming, di hydrogen monoxide is used commonly in agricultural pesticides, and even after thorough washing, the food remains contaminated. It’s even used in the production of the styrofoam crates used to transport fresh food. And it’s an additive in many other food products. Today, right now, in your local supermarket, even organic certified food has measurable concentrations of this stuff. Everyone in our society, from the youngest babies to our oldest citizens is routinely exposed to this pervasive chemical, and you never hear anyone in government taking a stand, toughening up regulations. It’s absurd.

Di hydrogen monoxide - hydroxyl acid - is really just another name for water. And everything I just said about it was completely true. Play it back again and see. It’s easy to spin the shit out of something, huh? Disinformation’s a bitch. And so is buying a new car - can’t help you with disinformation, except to expose it - but I can help with buying a new car. Contact me online for that - We get new cars cheap; it’s not a scam. Leave a message below - let me know what you think - and subscribe for regular updates. 

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